Her smile faded so long ago in the mad existence of chaos. All she can do now is move like a ventriloquist moves a dummy, the same moves repeated, repeated. Nothing can make her happy, not a friend, not a comic, not even the warm glow of love. Even that love feels faded...she doesn't know enough; she isn't enough for him.
Everything good feels like a dream to her...she isn't deserving enough to really experience anything good. She should be shot and killed...she has no purpose. Maybe she should shoot and kill herself. No one wants her here. Everyone hates her.
Why does she keep living this lie?
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